Hello Everyone,

All of us here at The Santa Club are moving along, giving and helping others in secret.  Gosh, it is so much fun.  We move this year to repackage The Santa Club so bookstores and parents can keep the book under wraps until the big day!  Along with that and working with the charities we support, we have been busy and blessed.  Let us know how things are going with you all and how your gifts of giving are impacting others.  It is a wonderful time to give as so many are in need.

God Bless,

The Santa Club

“ Watch out!  Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your father in heaven.  2   When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do – blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity!  I tell you the truth; they have received all the Reward they will ever get. 3. But when you give to someone need don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.

4. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

(Matthew 6:1-4)

The Bible has so much to offer in the way of advice.  I have seen so many books that claim to be a new thought and the advice was taken from one of the oldest books in our history, the Bible.  Like the idea of a vision board found in a book many people have read.  If you look at Habakkuk 2:2-3 you will see that a vision board is a very old idea.

It says, and the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.  For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come, it will not tarry. (KJV Habakkuk 2:2-3)

Giving and especially giving at Christmas time is best served to give in secret.  The three wise men gave at Christmas and the first Santa, St Nicholas, gave in secret throughout his community.  There isn’t a parent I know who doesn’t want to teach their child to give in secret.  Not only is it an important skill to learn, it is also fun.

As we get closer to the holiday our family is thinking of ways, already, to give back this coming holiday season.  What about you?

Some ways to give in secret are,

Buying food for a neighbor and dropping it off at their house, ringing the doorbell and running.

Sending an anonymous cash donation to a charity of your choice, just make sure it gets to the right place.

Sending homemade cards to your local hospital to be distributed to patients.

Dropping food off at the local food bank.

We do some of these things and some other fun things as anonymous members of The Santa Club.  We make a card that says, Merry Christmas and From The Santa Club.  It gives us a way to give back and still let people know we believe in giving as the first Santa did, and as all the other members do today.

So get those holiday vision boards started and get ready.  The most joyous time of the year is close approaching.

So much has happened.  As I sit here in my office finishing up a guest blog, I realized my blog is suffering the lack of attention, no blog should.  Life has a way of intruding on my quiet time and as I get older, it intrudes more and more.

Labor Day weekend was wonderful for us.  Nothing fancy, just family and friends.  With our daughter away at school, life is a bit quieter but not much.  Our sons brought home five college age friends and life was still chaotic.  Now, everyone is gone and I am sitting in a very messy house.  Life is good. Life is good now, but ten years ago this Sunday we remember the day that changed all of our lives, September 11th.   I think about the families that don’t have the simple pleasure of their kids or husbands coming home.

Did you realize that kids 16 and under may not remember September 11^th?  They were babies and just might not remember that day.  How sad that “time” diminishes the intensity of those moments that shape a generation.  Anyone older than say nineteen remembers September 11^th with clarity. Our kids remember because their teacher’s were smart enough to deftly handle the news unfolding that day to their young learners.  And, I got them out of school right away.  After the Pentagon, I was out the door and at their school.  We got food, money and gas.  I had no idea where the next plane would hit and I was going to be prepared if we needed to move.  We were in Atlanta at the time and I am sure some people thought I was crazy, but no one knew what was happening.  I was for sure not waiting.  If the terrorists were stopped, then I was no worse for wear.  And to be honest I am so glad I did what I did.  My kids were with me and I could explain what was going on as we learned it, not someone else, but me.  Thankfully my husband was in town.  He traveled for work back then so he could have been anywhere.  That night we prayed for everyone who was missing or lost a loved one.  It was so sad.

Life is so crazy right now.  There is so much rhetoric and so little confidence.  I never remember life being this complicated.  Of course I am older now.  Maybe I was too young to remember tough times, but I know even my father – in – law thinks the world has gone crazy and he is in his 80’s.

So why do I write such a sad mundane blog?  Christmas is coming.  I know we are still a few months out, but it is coming.  And this year more than ever we all need to stand up and act.  Like those amazing first responder’s who ran towards the twin towers and not away.   Like this crazy mom who got prepared to be ready. We must start now to choose joy and be kind to one another.  The most amazing gift we can give those who lost their life on September 11^th is to stand up and choose joy.   To do the opposite of what the terrorists did, to bring happiness and kindness.  I ask that this year in the spirit of Christmas, give the “Gift of Giving”’ thru random acts of giving.  Make a little gift and wrap it up.  When you see someone in need, pass it on.  It may be a hat, a card, a smile.  This is not about money or gifts that cost a fortune; this is about the act of kindness.  The opposite of what the terrorists did on September 11^th. This is about the act of giving, without any gift in return.  It is what I call “The Gift of Giving”.

My family is starting this after September 11^th.  We think that day is perfect to begin preparing for the season of Christmas. Nothing fancy but when I have time, a card I shall make, or if I am at the store and see something silly and fun for a dollar then I shall get it.  I shall get it to pass along during the fall and holiday season.  It is my way of telling the evil in the world, you don’t win.  It is my way of telling all those politicians who use angry rhetoric, you are not me.  I believe we all can be kind and respectful to others.  Even when we disagree, it is ok. We were not made to be the same; we were only made to “love” one another, with kindness and respect.

For those families that lost their loved ones on September 11^th, I am so sorry for your loss.  Please know that your loved ones shall never be forgotten.  Not by this woman, not by this family.  And when we give this Christmas Season, it will be to show the world terror cannot rule us.  It cannot change us.  No matter what happens, during this time and this holiday season we shall choose joy.

God Bless,

Kelly

Writing is so cathartic.  It amazes me how if no one ever reads this blog, I still need to write.  My writing  is not really always for my friends and family.  Sometimes it is for me. Today this blog is for me.

When Kevin, my brother was getting treatment at Memorial-Sloan Kettering, we met some amazing people.  Families like ours that were in a time warp that only others in the same situation could understand.  My family dynamics was such that Kevin and I were very, very close.  We had an age gap that in other situations may not have relented to such a closeness.  But when I was eighteen and Kevin only eight, my mom got terribly ill.  She never was quite the same, so when I was home on weekends or for the summer from University then Kevin and I were together as much as possible.  It created a bond that was there until his death.

Just before Kevin got ill he stayed with us on his spring break.  He was even considering moving to Georgia to be closer to us and live somewhere different.  It was never to be.

Kevin passed on three years ago today.  As much as time goes by, this day is a reminder of a loss so great.  I am a faithful woman and very thankful for the time Kevin and I had.  I would always prefer having him for the short period of time on this earth, than not at all.  Still the tears come.  Bizarre.  Loss is bizarre.  There is such great sorrow that cannot be contained.

So I write.  I write so I can mourn for only this little bit until I have to get back to life.  I believe that it is OK to mourn for our loved ones, as long as it doesn’t come full force forever. My faith tells me that God is in control so I know that all is good. Yet, I still mourn for myself.   I mourn for the time lost, for the sharing we do not have.  I mourn for my kids, who will not see him as they age. I mourn for the hole in my family.  For the hole is so big. Today, I mourn.

He made me a better person, a better sister.  I am a better mom because of Kevin.

There is an artist.  Her name is Eleanor Adams.  She lost her son Alex to the same dreaded cancer Kevin had…Ewing’s Sarcoma, not that any cancer is not dreaded.  She has a gallery on the upper west side.  On her website is an amazing self portrait called Under Construction.  It is beautiful.  By chance on this day I found my way to that picture.  So poignant.  So perfect.

We are all under construction and the death of a loved one, or a tragedy changes us.  I pray and feel for me it is for the good.  Always for the good.

So today I think of my brother, Kevin.  A smile on my face now. Thank God for writing.  Thank God for Kevin.

XO

www.eleanoradams.com



If you look for me on Twitter then you will see that I am not only a parent that wrote a book, I am a parent that navigates the entertainment business with my two oldest children.  I tweet under thesantaclub but also as stagemomlessons.  I chose that name because I was so frustrated with having to constantly prove I was not a  crazy stagemom.  Because of this, I now teach other parents how to navigate the industry without getting caught up and becoming, “crazy”!.  Every April I speak in front of new actors and their parents who come out from Atlanta on how to find an agent the right way without getting taken or having your kid getting a terrible reputation because of the parent.

It all started four, almost five years ago. Our boys were asked to work in Los Angeles as actors.  Knowing the business was not an easy thing but being the true risk takers we are, we told the guys they could try…for a year, to see if they could succeed.

The world of entertainment is one of the toughest industries to work in so my husband and I set some stipulations before we took on the new adventure.  First off, we were in control, they had to listen to us, even when they thought we were being tough.  Secondly, we rented a house for our family away from the apartments most families stay at when in LA for pilot season.  We wanted our family to have a break from the industry.  In our mind, it was a job when you auditioned and worked.  Not who you are as a person.  The competitive nature of the auditioning was a by product we wanted to stay away from.  Last but not least, if our kids did well and made any money, they had to tithe as we call it, or another way to look at it, give back.  They had to find a charity they loved and give 10% of what they made to that charity.  With giving away your required percentages to taxes, the unions, agents and managers tithing meant you had even less money in your pocket.  But for our family it is a given, God gets the first fruits and something very important, our kids had a vested interest in helping others.

Joe and I believed and still do, that when you are involved in helping others or giving back, that you become aware of what is important in life.  When someone has a brain tumor, working on a set seems pretty trivial.  When someone has no family or a single mom and they are not eating everyday, then seeing a Kraft truck with unlimited food doesn’t seem like a necessity.  We wanted the kids to realize acting is a job and that is what you do, how you treat everyone you meet, is who you are.

A few months ago I was reading about Billy Ray Cyrus and how he is blaming Disney for Miley’s craziness.  Jameson worked on Hannah Montana.  You can see him being the big college student throwing up after Jackson serves bad hamburger.  I was with him on set and I have to tell you Miley is very talented.  Both her and her dad are really talented actors.  She is also beautiful and everyone that worked there was very kind.  As I listen to Billy Ray, I get a little frustrated.  He is acting like a stage dad who hasn’t taken responsibility for being a dad first and four most.  On the other hand, I was on set and I can tell you having a kid with a job like Miley’s would never be an easy thing.  It takes a strong parent or set of parents and like anything else, it takes your time.

That day we were on set was very exciting.  Jameson had done some things already  and was blessed but this was the first sitcom and let me tell you, we were pumped.  He had his own dressing room, and was greeted on set by the AD and PAs.  AD is Assistant Director and PA is Production Assistant.  Everyone was really nice.  Jameson and I try very hard to be out of the way when he is working.  First off he is a pretty shy guy when he first gets into new situations.  Most people find that very funny.  Even though he can lip sync to thousands at a Dodger’s game, he is really shy when meeting people for the fist time and as a kid, he was even scared.  Today, he still hates to “bother” anyone by calling out of the blue! But get him working and oh boy….

So I am sitting up in the empty audience seats watching.  I am there on set but not in the dressing room.  Miley and the kids were very polite and nice but they had a ton of work to do.  School, work, School, work.  It was a pretty busy job.  Billy Ray was also working and going back and forth from his star wagon.  He also is pretty busy.  The one thing I noticed was that everyone was really laid back and cool.  The week we were on set, was a blessing and Jameson had a great time.

So how could Disney be the problem?  How could Billy Ray not do his duty like so many people think?  As a parent who has been on set, I think there is a little bit of both.  Parenting is a full-time job….always.  I don’t  know about you but I am in my kids face all the time.   I ask how are you?  What is going on?  When the guys are on set, I am even more around, not getting in the way or annoying just there, like a beacon of strength.  I tease them all the time, that I will kick their butt if they get out of control, that we, Joe and I, will be at their doorstep if they choose to take paths not healthy.  Not that our kids don’t party or have fun.  Kids are kids and I am just glad they didn’t grow up in the 70′s!  But we also tell them things that Billy Ray is talking about.

Agents and Managers make money off your children’s success.  They only make money if your kid gets a job.  So first and foremost we always remind our kids that they need to take  advice not just from the person who makes money off them, but from the people who love them and have no vested interest. Joe, myself, their grandparents, aunts,  uncles, and friends who love them for who they are as a person, not as a success.  We continually support the notion that those of us who truly care for their well being are the ones to bounce things off.  Most people will say that celebrities change when they become famous.  What we find is that not all of the successful people change, that most actually start to slip away from aquaintences and old friends because of this principle.  Many great actors have a small group of people they stay close with because they know these people love them for who they are, and want nothing in return.

Since starting this blog, Billy Ray came out and softened his views on Disney.  Being a parent is so hard.  Being married is hard.  I am sure that the added pressures of being successful make that all the more difficult.

When I speak to young actors, I always try to steer them away from the goal of being a star.  Celebrity is a funny thing here in America and throughout the world.  Just because someone is successful, we follow their every move.  People are people and to be honest the more that I meet the amazing actors, politicians and successful people in my travels the ones I am most admire are the ones who give back.  The ones who are so busy, yet they take their holiday to build an orphanage in Haiti.  Or the ones that mc a gala to save a non-profit money.  Like my girlfriend Mindy Sterling.  You know Mindy if you have ever seen the Austin Powers movies.  She was Frau, Dr. Evil’s love interest.  She would yell, BRING IN THE GUARDS. Kids know her as the teacher on ICarly.  Mindy is running for the Los Angeles Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Man and Woman of the Year program.  A ten week program to try and raise money for the society, Mindy is working hard to raise money to help the LLS fund research for cancer patient.  Now that is a celebrity to me.  She gives back to the world without anything in return.

For all of my aspiring actors, directors, producers, artists and so on….remember that.  If you are blessed with success then give back.  Or you will find yourself lost in this world.

Have a great Santa Club Day,

Kelly

To support Mindy and the LLS, please go to;

https://los.dojiggy.com/pledge/index.cfm?585F220809626270670F0D7F731304452459440F7C7E78070474